


A Wolf at the Door

by Zeroth123 (ktao3)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Early Relationship, Early relationship anxieties, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Insecure and jealous Jack, Jackanda, Love, Relationship Talk, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8077543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktao3/pseuds/Zeroth123
Summary: A mystery woman shows up at the apartment, and Jack knows only one thing for sure: She's got a crush on Miranda.Something about insecure, jealous Jack just gets me writing. A couple more chapters probably, but nothing too heavy.Jackanda fluff for my fellow Jackanda shippers. In the same universe/timeline as my story A Little After Midnight.





	1. House Call

It started with two cups of coffee. Two cups of coffee being held in front of Jack's eyes at 6:45 in the morning. She had just opened the door to an attractive woman, whose face was shifting from a smile to confusion.  


Jack managed a passably friendly "Can I help you?"  


"Oh! Um? I'm sorry. I'm looking for Miranda Lawson." The woman started looking around. "Does she live on this floor? I was pretty sure the number started with . . ."  


Jack was not a morning person. And she didn't like a woman she had never met before showing up at this hour looking for Miranda. "She lives here. With me." She emphasized the last two words. "Or, maybe, I live with her. Either way . . ."  


The guest seemed unfazed by anything Jack might be implying. "Oh, great! I thought maybe we could walk to work together."  


Jack stood in the doorway, still processing everything. "You two work together?"  


"Yes." The woman said it like maybe Jack was a little slow on the uptake. "We do. Did she leave already?"  


"No. She's still here." Jack didn't want to say "...probably still in the shower" because she just imagined this woman imagining Miranda in the shower. She thought to herself, "I really have to get a grip on my jealousy . . ."  


"Oh. Soooo . . . is it okay if I come inside?" The guest seemed slightly put out now.  


Jack wanted to say No, nope, just go away, thanks, but she forced herself to say, "Sure. I'll let her know you're here. You are?"  


"Dr. Kate Lupin. I'd shake your hand but . . ." She held the coffee cups up again. Jack scanned her memories. Miranda had said a few things about Lupin. Had started recently. Something about her being smart, analytical and intuitive . . . she couldn't remember exactly. Only that it was all positive. Annoyingly. And Miranda hadn't mentioned she was super hot.  


With all these things filling her mind, Jack finally stepped completely out of the doorway, then gestured at the table. "Take a seat. I'll let Miranda know you're here." She turned to go to the bedroom, but was interrupted by the Dr. Lupin saying, "And you are?" (What the hell . . . but she probably should have introduced herself.)  


"I'm Jack." She almost said "Miranda's girlfriend" but somehow that seemed. . . too cute? Before she could make another statement, Lupin said, "Jack? Just Jack?" A little condescending . . . and definitely like she had never heard the name before.  


Then a voice called from the bedroom, "Babe, is someone here?" Jack smiled to herself. She thought, "She called me 'babe.'" Hope you caught that." She replied out loud, "Yeah. One of your work colleagues is here." (You're just the co-worker, doc. Don't forget it, she thought in Lupin's direction.)  


Miranda stepped out of the bedroom, dressed for work. "Kate, what a surprise." Her tone was unreadable. Jack couldn't tell if she was annoyed or not. She wanted her to be.  


Lupin let out what Jack imagined she thought was a charming little laugh. "Well, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment decision really. I know you love this coffee, and I was getting one for myself . . . and your neighborhood is on the way to the office."  


(Such a load of shit, thought Jack. You've been planning this for days . . . At least.)  


She heard Miranda's voice: "Well, thank you. It's a nice gesture. It's a little early . . . But I do appreciate it. And you've met Jack. Do you want to get going?" Then, "Jack, aren't you going to be late?"  


"Yeah, yeah. I've got to head out." Jack pulled her bag onto her right shoulder and walked over to Miranda and kissed her on the cheek. "See you later. Babe." Then she turned to Lupin, "Nice to meet you, doc." (Not at all)  


"Oh, the same." (Oh, I bet.)  


She couldn't tell how Miranda felt about the kiss in front of her colleague, but she didn't pull away or give her a look, so it seemed good. Still, she'd have to talk to Miranda about all of this later. That woman had a crush on Miranda, and there was no denying it. Jack knew that sort of thing was going to come up sometime. But now? She wasn't ready to deal with it. But, too bad, she would have to . . .  


Maybe she just imagined it, but as she headed down the stairs at the end of the hallway, she thought she heard the two of them sharing a laugh. Her stomach tightened a little. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you. Jack sighed. This was going to be a long day . . .


	2. Supply Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three weeks after Lupin shows up at the door, Jack finds herself in the dark about the situation . . .

3 weeks later . . .  


Jack was used to many things—sleeping on hard floors, gnawing hunger, uncertainty about whether she'd live to see another day. All of that, she dismissed with a shrug. But the way she felt right now, like her heart was being crushed inside her . . . she would give almost anything to make that pain stop.  


She lay on the floor of the supply closet that adjoined her office at Grissom Academy staring up into the darkness. She had pushed a file cabinet against the door. It might not be comfortable, but at least it felt safe here. Her head was pounding. Her eyes hurt. Her mouth was dry. Her Omnitool buzzed, again. She held her arm in front of her face and through bleary eyes, she read the latest message from Miranda: Please just let me know you're safe.  


Jack shook her head. How many more messages could she take without responding? She didn't know how long she had been refusing to acknowledge Miranda's texts. An hour? Two? Longer? Time sort of stood still in a dark supply closet. However long it had been, Miranda's tone had changed. First, she had been apologetic. Then, annoyed. The last 10 messages could be filed under worried.  


But what was her response? "Stop pretending you care. You don't care about how I feel. You don't care. Why was she there? I trusted you . . . Fuck you." She finally typed in "Leave me the fuck alone" and sent the message. She felt sick to her stomach.  


She knew the message would only encourage Miranda to keep communicating. Maybe that's what she wanted. Another message buzzed in: 

Miranda: Jack, please come home. We don't have to talk about anything till tomorrow. I won't bother you. I just want you to be here.  


Jack: If you're lonely, call Lupin.  


Miranda: You were right about her having a crush, but that is all there is to it. You are being ridiculous. I'm tired and I'm worried. Tell me where you are, and I'll come there if you won't come here.  


Jack: Just admit this is over and we can both stop wasting our time.  


Miranda: I don't think this is over. Do you really want to end us because of her?  


Jack: If it's not her, it will be someone just like her. Why not save ourselves the trouble?  


Miranda: Do you really not trust me this much? Will nothing I say convince you?  


Jack didn't respond for a few moments, then another message came in.  


Miranda: I love you. And I know you love me. Come home and talk to me.  


Jack sighed and stared into the darkness. She didn't know what to do. Fuck—why did Lupin have to be there tonight?


	3. The Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scenes from the three weeks leading up to the night in the supply closet . . .

An aside . . .  


Insecurity is a wolf at the door, always threatening to get in—or is it out?  


In the quiet of the night, before she drifts off to sleep, Miranda Lawson worries that Jack will never be able to trust her. Because of Pragia. Because of Cerberus. How can Jack trust anybody, much less her? Miranda is so intelligent, but she's learning that that doesn't give any advantage in understanding how to make a real relationship work. The one thing she is sure of is, a relationship can't work without trust. But, she thinks, maybe she doesn't even deserve to be trusted . . .  


Jack worries there's no way Miranda can want to spend a lifetime with her. Miranda can have anyone she wants, why would she want ... Jack? Jack doesn't even want Jack half the time. Miranda tells Jack she loves her—and Jack loves to hear it. But she doesn't really believe it, deep inside. In her darkest moments, she thinks this whole relationship is just a way for Miranda to assuage her guilt. Not that that makes any sense. But one thing Jack knows is, people don't make any fucking sense. Every time she brings up getting married, Miranda says they need to give it more time. Every time it feels like she's just looking for the right moment to get out. The worst thing is, Jack feels herself falling more and more . . . But, she thinks, maybe she doesn't even deserve to be loved.

  


Now, back to the evening after Dr. Lupin's coffee delivery . . .  


The first thing Jack said when Miranda came into the apartment that night was "What was up with that?" Miranda was used to Jack's abruptness by now. She still breezed over to her, leaned down to give her a kiss, and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about. What was up with what?" Jack gave Miranda an annoyed look as she sat on the small sofa they had scavenged from another apartment building weeks before. London was still very empty compared to the days before the Reaper War.  


"Your stalker?"  


Miranda squinted her eyes in Jack's direction and gave a slight shake of the head. Then the light came on and she said, "Kate?"  


"Yeah, Kate. I think she wanted to throw that coffee in my face. Or maybe throw me out the window. How does she even know where you live?"  


"I don't know. I'm sure I mentioned it in passing. Don't you think maybe you're being a little dramatic about this? It's not a big deal. It's not a deal at all."  


"Hmm, an attractive woman showed up at the door this morning at 6 fucking 45 excited out of her head to surprise you. I think you're being a little clueless." She started to imitate Lupin's voice "Oh, it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing . . . You know that's bullshit, right? Or are you just so used to everybody losing their shit around you that you don't even notice it anymore?"  


Miranda came over and sat next to Jack on the sofa. "There is exactly one person 'losing their shit' around me. And it's you." She smiled at Jack, who was still frowning. "Jack, I love you and could not be less interested in Kate Lupin if I tried."  


"You said she was smart."  


"Maybe I did. She is smart. Smart does not automatically equal interesting. At all." Miranda took Jack's hand in her own. "We are spending way too much time talking about this, because there is nothing to talk about. Okay?" She nudged her gently with her elbow. "Okay?"  


Finally, Jack sighed and said, "Fine. Okay. But keep an eye on her."  


*****  


Everything went back to normal for a few days. Then, on Friday morning, Kate Lupin was knocking on the door again at 6:45 in the morning. Jack looked at Miranda over the kitchen table and said, "Did you know about this?"  


Miranda sighed, "I did not. I will talk to her about it, okay?"  


"Sure. Just put this down as further evidence that she has the hardcore hots for you."  


"Or, maybe, our apartment is just on the way to the office. Like she said."  


There was another knock.  


Miranda stood up and walked over to give Jack a good-bye kiss. "I love you. I will talk to her. Mornings are not to be interrupted."  


Everything went back to mostly normal again, but now this thing was really rooted in Jack's mind. Before there was just some vague threat of someone that Miranda would inevitably fall for instead of her. But now that person wasn't a ghost. She was an impeccably dressed, coffee-carrying doctor with long blonde hair. And Jack knew it was nuts to let it drive her crazy. But in the back of her head, it did.  


*****  


Everyone in Miranda's office was busy. There were a lot of moving parts, literally and figuratively, in the ongoing shift of forces from fighting on the battlefields to restoring parts of London to liveable condition to tracking down the last vestiges of Cerberus. And other projects she didn't even talk about. And Miranda was a workaholic. And a perfectionist. And working late every night. Before the second coffee incident, Jack didn't really think anything of it. Just that that was the way Miranda was.  


Then, one late night, as she worked on duty rosters at the table, she heard voices on the street. She walked to the window and saw Miranda and Lupin standing by the building doorway talking. Five minutes, ten, fifteen. It made her feel a little sick. Every late night turned into a question mark. But then Miranda was coming inside and Lupin was going away. And she should have just let it go. But she couldn't stop herself from asking Miranda what that was about? Maybe there was a little too much edge to her voice when she asked.  


Miranda was tired. She rubbed her forehead thinking, "This again?" She answered, "Work, Jack. There's a lot going on at work, a lot of issues to be resolved. We were talking about one of those things and time slipped by, okay?" Without even pausing for a real answer she said, "Is there anything to eat?" and they moved past the moment.  


A little later, they were in bed. Naked, close, Jack lying on top of Miranda kissing her, holding her. Miranda moaned a little and Jack whispered, half-joking, "If call me Kate, I'm going to lose it." Miranda started shaking her head and said with exasperation, "Jack, enough! You've got to stop with this. I'm serious. I'm allowed to have friends and co-workers. They're even allowed to come to this apartment."  


Jack reacted defensively, "I know! I know that. Miranda . . . it's just her." She sighed and moved to push away, but Miranda's right arm hooked around her lower back and pulled her close again.  


"Babe . . . stay. Please. Stay here and kiss me and be with me. You and me." She caressed Jack's back. "That's all there is here. That's all I want. You and me. Trust me." Miranda reached up and held Jack's face. She pulled her close to kiss her. And Jack stayed. She kissed Miranda. She held onto her. They made love and then fell into a fitful sleep, their competing insecurities nestled between them. Miranda thought, How are we going to make it if you won't trust me? Jack thought, Why can't you see I just need you to reassure me?  


*****  


The next night, when Miranda got home, she sat down next to Jack on the sofa and she said, "I know I've been working late a lot. I'm sorry. I can get a little obsessed with work."  


Jack rolled her eyes, "A little. I'd hate to see a lot."  


"The point is, I'm sorry. I know it's not fair to you. So on Friday, let's meet at the The Crown after work. Date night. You and me. Just relax and be together, then come home and do whatever you'd like."  


Jack was still a little annoyed, but she knew Miranda was offering an olive branch. And that she didn't even have any reason that she had to. Jack said, "Okay. Sounds good."  


On Friday morning, Miranda teased and flirted before Jack left. When she left, she winked and said, "I can't wait till later." All day long, she bombarded Jack with suggestive messages that were completely inappropriate for a teacher to be receiving. And Jack loved all of it. She couldn't wait for the day to be over. She even found herself humming as she walked the distance from the academy to the pub.  


She walked through the door of The Crown, which was crowded already. She scanned the room, then let out a long sigh. There was Miranda. With Lupin. Hunched together over papers on a table in the corner, shoulders and upper arms pressed together. She shook her head. Son of a bitch . . .


	4. From The Crown to the supply closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title really says it all . . .  
> We pick up right at the moment we left off last chapter.

Miranda must have felt Jack's stare because she looked up. She smiled, but glanced at her Omnitool checking the time. Time flies when you're having fun, Jack thought to herself. Damn.  


She started to approach the table, the day's feeling of happy anticipation falling away with every step. As she got closer, Jack forced a smile. But at the same time, she didn't try to hide how forced it was.  


"Dr. Lupin. We can finally shake hands." Jack held out her hand.  


Lupin grasped it and shook it firmly: "Jack. Nice to see you." Lupin wasn't trying to disguise her unease either. Hell, maybe they were more alike than Jack had thought.  


Miranda came around to greet her, giving her a quick kiss in front of the table. Jack just looked at her and said flatly, "Um . . . date night?"  


"I know. I know, Jack. The time got away from me. But we're almost finished."  


Lupin, reading the situation said, "I'll go get us a round of drinks."  


Jack started to say, "Don't bother," but Lupin had hurried away. Jack turned back to Miranda and said, "You know this is bullshit."  


"I know. We're finishing up. This work is important."  


Jack exhaled, knowing that was probably true, and sat down saying, "Whatever."  


"I'm sorry."  


"Yep." Jack grabbed a stool and pulled out a data pad from her bag. "I'll just do some work shit too."  


"Thank you."  


Jack nodded and gave a sarcastic raise of the eyebrows without a word. Then Lupin was back, handing her an expensive beer. Jack said, "Thanks."  


Lupin said, "Thank you for your patience. This is really important work." Ugh. Jack could accept it from Miranda, but somehow Lupin seemed so earnest and so fake at the same time.  


"Yeah, I hear." Jack went back to staring at the datapad.  


****  


Jack would later acknowledge to herself—when she was lying on the floor of the supply closet—that she had probably finished that first beer too quickly. As Miranda and Lupin pored over a bunch of papers covered in numbers, she walked over to the bar and got herself a shot. Then another. Then she got a second beer. She walked back holding only that. She sure as hell wasn't going to get Lupin another round.  


When she sat back down, Miranda barely gave her a sidelong glance. Then Lupin was saying, "But what if we switched these two . . . and tried this." There were more numbers, lines, arrows. Even more numbers and symbols. Then shared excitement. Then Miranda was saying, "Kate, you've done it! It is so good to work with someone who understands the complexities of . . ."  


There was more, but Jack didn't hear it. What Miranda had already said made something snap inside of her. Irrational, yes. But that's how emotions work. At least when you're angry, and jealous, and insecure, and scared you're going to lose the one person you thought that maybe you could trust.  


Jack put down her empty bottle a little too loudly. She dropped the datapad in her bag and slung the bag on her shoulder. Without a word, she turned to go before she lost it. She was 10 feet away when she felt Miranda's hand on her upper arm. "Jack. We're finished. We're finished . . ." Jack shrugged away from Miranda's grasp and said, "No. I'm finished. Enjoy your date night."  


Miranda closed her eyes and shook her head. Jack couldn't tell if it was regret or annoyance. It just didn't matter. "Jack. Babe. Come back." She reached out to grasp Jack's arm again.  


Then Jack was saying, "Get your fucking hand off of me, and go back to your friend that understands you." People were staring at them. And Lupin was suddenly right there next to them. Of course.  


Not understanding exactly what was going on, Miranda let Jack go and watched her quickly push away through the crowd. Miranda said, "Jack!" but then she felt Lupin's hand holding her arm.  


Lupin was saying "Just let her go." That would've been bad enough, but the look she was giving Miranda spoke volumes. It said, "Don't leave. I'm here for you. I'm here with you. I'm so perfect for you!" Miranda shook her head and said, "Oh my God."  


How had she not seen how right Jack was? Kate's interest was suddenly so obvious to Miranda that she actually felt embarrassed for her. She pulled away from Lupin but by the time she got out to the street, Jack was nowhere to be seen. Perfect . . .  


Miranda stood on the street shaking her head again. She typed a message to Jack, then headed back into the bar to deal with her admirer.  


*****  


Jack walked through back streets and alleys. At first she was so angry, she was almost looking for a fight. But even after drinking, she quickly realized how idiotic that idea was. She was responsible now (Thanks, Shepard). She started to head back to the apartment, but she still felt so angry. She couldn't deal with Miranda right now. Or, it wouldn't be good—that was definite. No, she was too angry. More than angry. She felt like her heart was breaking. How had she ever believed that she and Miranda could work? How could she let herself want it so much?  


She wanted to feel safe, and there was no place she could feel that way now. She wandered for a long time when suddenly it occurred to her. There was still one place where she thought she could feel safe. And that's how she ended up stumbling into that supply closet.  


****  


Jack lay on the floor and read Miranda's last text again:  


Miranda: I love you. And I know you love me. Come home and talk to me.  


After a long time, Jack typed: Miranda, I just can't now. When I wake up, I'll text you.  


Then, after a little while longer lying in the dark, she typed one more message: I love you too.  


What the fuck? However this was going to turn out, she knew at least that that was true . . .


	5. The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Miranda reunite and talk it out . . .

Saturday morning, Kate Lupin stared at the cold coffee in the mug in her hand. She felt really stupid, and she felt really alone. She heard Miranda's voice in her mind saying, "There's no reason we can't continue to work together as long as you're clear that I'm with Jack. And I'm going to be with Jack. Period."  


Somehow, Kate had convinced herself she could keep her crush to herself. She had decided she would just put her best foot forward, and then Miranda would notice her. Would notice how alike they were. How well they worked together. It would all happen organically, and no one would be to blame. It would just be . . . meant to be.  


Memories of Miranda's voice interrupted these thoughts: "Kate, are we clear here? Outside of work hours, we're not going to spend anymore time together until you're . . . over this. Kate?" And Kate had simply said, "I'm really sorry." And Miranda replied, "I know these things happen, and it's no one's fault. But you've got to move on, okay? And I've got to get going. Do you want to share a cab to your place?" God, that had been the worst part. If Miranda could have only known how much Kate had longed to hear her say something like that.  


Kate remembered saying, "No. I'm going to stay here a little bit longer. I have some friends in the neighborhood." Then Miranda had just said, "I'll see you Monday" and she was gone in a flash. And then, when there was no sight of her, Kate had walked home alone.  


*****  


In a nearby neighborhood, Miranda Lawson waited on a text from Jack. She remembered blocking the doorway 24 hours before, giving Jack a long kiss. She heard her voice: "Cheerleader! You're killing me! I've gotta go." Her heart ached to hear the voice now.  


She went through all of Friday in her mind—again—wondering where it had all gone wrong. What could she have done differently? Oh, right. Not invite Lupin to their date night. She sighed. How could someone so smart be so stupid? She loved Jack. She wanted Jack. Why didn't she do a better job prioritizing her? She hoped it wasn't too late . . .  


As mid-morning approached, a message finally appeared.  


Jack: I'm awake. I'll be there in about 15 minutes. Meet me downstairs.  


Downstairs? That was a little odd. But Miranda was determined to accommodate Jack. Whatever she wanted. Within reason. 10 minutes later, Miranda headed downstairs.  


*****  


Jack looked at the message she had sent. "I'm awake . . ." True. She neglected to mention she hadn't actually slept. Whatever. She had to see Miranda. She stood up and moved the file cabinet. That had been a lot easier when she was angry. Tired and sad, she walked out of her office, down the hall, and out into the blinding sun. She looked around for the closest vendor. Then, electrolytes in hand she headed for Miranda's apartment hoping it was still home.  


*****  


Miranda watched Jack's approach for a long time. It was a bright, clear day and her father's genetic modifications had given her exceptional vision. Jack's usual purposeful stride was replaced by meandering. She seemed uncertain about wanting to move forward. Finally, she felt Miranda's gaze. She held it, then picked up the pace. Finally, she was there, but she stopped 4 feet from Miranda, just out of reach.  


"So . . ." she said, still holding Miranda's gaze with her own. She looked horrible. Exhausted. Like maybe she had been crying. It was making Miranda feel nauseated. She wanted to embrace Jack. But the younger woman's body language clearly said, "Keep your distance."  


Miranda said, "Do you want to go upstairs?"  


"Not really."  


Miranda wondered if maybe Jack didn't live here anymore. Immediately, Miranda started to convince herself that she could live that. Miranda had made a deal with the universe a long time ago: She would live with anything as long as Oriana was safe. But losing Jack . . . Miranda just inhaled and straightened her spine, trying to find something to say.  


Jack asked, "Will you walk to the park with me?"  


"Of course." Whatever Jack wants.  


*****  


They walked side by side in silence to the park. Mercifully, it was a short walk. At the first empty bench, Jack dropped her bag, sat down, and motioned for Miranda to join her. When Miranda did so, Jack put her elbows on her knees and leaned forward to stare at her hands. She said, "I'm sorry."  


"No. Jack, I'm sorry. It's my fault." Miranda put her hand on Jack's back and Jack didn't move away.  


"I still shouldn't just leave like that. I think I realized I might be in one of those ironic things where you're afraid of losing someone so then you act in ways that make you lose them." She turned her head to look at Miranda. Even in this state, she was stunning.  


Miranda nodded, "That's an interesting insight."  


"Yeah, well, I might have been reading relationship sites on the extranet all night, so . . ." Miranda was pretty sure she had never imagined Jack saying that. Then she followed up with, "Miranda, being compatible in bed isn't enough." Completely serious.  


This was most definitely not the way Miranda imagined this going. She imagined more . . . irrational yelling. She replied, "I know. Is that all this is to you?"  


Jack reacted with an immediate and insistent "No!"  


Miranda considered her, then shook her head slightly and said with a sad realization, "No . . . That's what you think this is to me."  


Jack shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I mean, why else are you with me instead of someone like her?"  


Now we're getting to it, Miranda thought. She said, "Because I'm in love with you."  


"Yeah, but why?"  


Miranda searched her brain for the right thing to say. She wasn't even sure she could put into words what it was about Jack that had her so completely entranced. She was about to talk about Jack's inner strength, when Jack asked, "Why did you have to say it was so good to have someone that finally understood you?" The hurt she was feeling was written all over her face. Miranda realized, again, that having a genius IQ didn't stop you from being a complete moron. This was it. Not just Lupin being there—this.  


"Babe, it . . . it would be like you talking with Liara about the best way to help someone hone their biotics. It was just work. It has nothing to do with really understanding. Jack, you understand me." Miranda touched her own chest. "That's what's good between us. I'm sorry I haven't done enough to take away your doubts, but you and me . . . Jack. You understand . . . reality!" Miranda laughed. There was no other word to encompass it.  


Her one hand was still on Jack's back and now she reached with her other hand to squeeze Jack's thigh. It was like the loosest of hugs. "You and I have seen and done things that Kate has never even imagined. When I look at you, I see strength. When I'm with you, I feel safe. You understand me more than anyone ever has. And I do my best to understand you. I know that I love you. You have to trust that. Please, trust that you are the only one I want. Please . . ."  


Then Jack's arms were around her shoulders and neck. They embraced on the bench for a long moment, the rest of the world disappearing. There was only them and the sun on their backs.  


Finally, Jack said, "I'm going to believe you, okay? Because I really want to." Her exhaustion loosened her inhibitions. "Miranda, I love you so much. I . . . I feel like it's killing me."  


"Jack . . . no . . ."  


"I mean, not killing me killing me. But like, killing the old me. But I don't know how to be a new me yet." Jack leaned back and looked down at the bench, then back up to Miranda. She looked so young. She sat before Miranda completely disarmed.  


"Jack, whichever 'me' you are, I love her. Old, new. Be who you want to be and I will be here loving you. Only you. I promise. Nothing could make me happier."  


A last bit of tension left Jack's shoulders and she said quietly, "Okay." Then, "I'm really hungry."  


Miranda smiled. Regular Jack was back. And that was good. She knew how much it had taken for Jack to say all of those things. The closest place to eat was The Crown, but there was no way in hell they were going back there. Miranda pointed across the park at a man with a cart. "We can see what he's selling. Take our lives in our hands like we used to do."  


Jack nodded. "Fuck yeah. Space warriors against the food cart." She stood up and held out her hand, and they walked across the park together. Then, with two lab-grown mystery meat specials in hand, they sat down on the grass to eat them.  


After just a few bites, Jack's stomach was settled and her exhaustion began to overcome her. She wrapped what was left and handed it to Miranda to put in the bag. When Miranda turned back around after doing so, she was amazed to find that Jack had stretched out on the grass and was moving to rest her head on Miranda's lap. So not Jack. But maybe this was new Jack.  


Miranda reached down and stroked the side of Jack's head. Jack rested her cheek against Miranda's belly and squinting against the sun said, "Are we good?"  


Miranda would have typically said something like, "I think that's up to you." But she knew Jack just wanted reassurance. She smiled down and with her chest filling with peace she said, "Yeah, babe, we're good." Within a minute, Jack was sleeping in the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, problem . . . resolution. Life's so simple when you write it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. The Last Word . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last night I finished the story, threw on my clever little final note. Feeling good. Then, today, it occurs to me I've left poor Lupin sad and lonely. What kind of unfeeling omnipotent jerk am I? So, here . . . for Lupin!

Jack was already downstairs when the skycab pulled in front of the building. As soon as the door opened, she grabbed Miranda's bag and then she reached for Miranda's hand.  


Miranda smiled, "So you missed me a little?"  


Jack pulled Miranda into a hug. "Yeah, I missed you."  


As they walked up the stairs to the apartment, Miranda said, "You are never going to guess who I saw at the spaceport . . ."  


For a few seconds, there was just the sound of their footsteps in the stairway. Then Jack said, "So, are you gonna tell me or what? I'm never gonna guess apparently . . ."  


"Kate Lupin. Somehow we missed each other at the conference."  


Jack stopped in her tracks. "Really?"  


"And get this . . . she's married and her wife looks just like me. Talk about awkward . . ."  


Jack turned around now. "You are fucking with me."  


Miranda smiled, "Okay, her wife doesn't look like me. But I couldn't resist . . ."  


Jack looked at Miranda and said, "Not ready to joke about any of that yet."  


"It's been 3 years."  


"Still not ready." Jack started up the stairs again.  


Miranda patted Jack on the ass and said, "You know, in her own way, she brought us closer . . ."  


"No. Uh-uh. I'm not participating in any revisionist history of the Lupin episode." But in a way, it was true.  


Once they were in the apartment, Miranda said, "She is married, but her wife is asari."  


Jack shrugged, "At this point I'm not believing a word you are saying, so . . ."  


Miranda laughed. "No. That part is true. Really."  


"Hmm. Well, in that case, I'd say everything worked out for the best for her too. You know, Asari . . ." Jack let out a long, low whistle.  


Miranda was giving her a look now, and Jack smiled back at her. "Oh, who doesn't want to joke now? I mean, geez, now that I think of it, I don't understand why we didn't just introduce her to Oriana . . ."  


"You did not just say that."  


"You started this!" Jack actually thought maybe she had gone a little too far. There was one thing Miranda didn't joke about . . . but joking about Lupin was dangerous territory, too.  


"Okay, okay. Truce?"  


"Yes! That was a joke in poor taste, and I apologize. Now . . ." Jack began to approach her, ". . . I'm so ready for some missed-you sex with a human woman."  


Miranda shook her head, "How is this my life?"  


"You're super lucky?" Jack gave her a shrug.  


"I think you may be overestimating your charm right now."  


"Nah. I think I'm good," Jack said with a sparkle in her eyes. And then they were kissing.


End file.
